Are you worried about breaking up over spiritual beliefs? When you come out as “spiritual,” some relationships may end. Many spiritual paths say that theirs is the one and only way. Their history is “kill or convert” so they don’t tolerate or try to understand outsiders. This could lead to breaking up over religion. If this happens to you, here are some things to keep in mind to soften the blow.

Compatibility Is More Important Than Love

I know we’re all taught that love is the end all be all in relationships. However, harmony comes from compatibility. If you don’t have a good blend of differences to keep things interesting and sameness to find common ground, your relationship has a high possibility of unhappiness.

Love gets up through the highs and lows of life, but compatibility gets us through the mundane hours and years. When one person has strong religious conviction, and that path isn’t in alignment with your own, it’s going to create values conflicts. This is especially true if there are shared children.

Love Yourself Enough to Be Yourself

Love can only flourish when we have the space to be ourselves. If we’re not expressing ourselves fully or honestly, we aren’t allowing ourselves to live. What is life if not an expression of our emotions, beliefs, and gifts? Love often means that we want that for our loved ones and ourselves.

If you feel you have to hide your crystals, altar, or that you have to not talk about your communion with Nature, you may feel diminished. If you can’t talk about your spiritual highs or questions with your loved one, you may feel there are huge gaps in your relationship. Sometimes we feel judged for going out under the moonlight or hugging a tree. So we hide. Or stop talking about it.

Love Your Partner Enough to Let Him Be Himself

Sovereignty is the foundation for all relationships. Letting go can be the most unselfish way to express love and respect for sovereignty. Sometimes two people can be the best expression of themselves by being apart. It doesn’t mean that someone is wrong or bad. Sometimes two good people just aren’t a match. And that’s okay.

Breaking up over spiritual beliefs can feel like a petty reason for letting go. Or you can see it as the ultimate kindness and act of love. Wisdom isn’t just about how you feel. It’s also about doing what makes sense. The best relationships balance effectiveness with feeling.